plz talk dirty to me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
