when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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