How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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