My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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