that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
