you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
