PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
