After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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