He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
