I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
