Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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