My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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