How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
