she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
