Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
