so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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