Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
We got so high we made milksteak
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
