butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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