You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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