Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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