people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
