just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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