This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
