he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize