what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
