summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
