Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
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Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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