we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
