Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
