my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Are we still banned from the library?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
