I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
