Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
