Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
