Sponge bath it is.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
