Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
