spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
