That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
