Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My liver just broke up with me...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I touched a dick in church today
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
