super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize