I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize