we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Im part way to drunk.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
