The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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