I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
