Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
