I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
