im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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