Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
