Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
