Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
