You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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