Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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