I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
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I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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