I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
