all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
