So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Found the puke drawer
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize