One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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