all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
