Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
