if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
