Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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