I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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