My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
