you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
