Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My ass is underappreciated
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
